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Eyebrows were raised when Justin* and Grace* found out they were having a baby.
The pair instantly saw the pregnancy as a “happy accident”, and in the midst of the excitement, they were also facing a dilemma.
Living in London with Justin’s parents, they have been staying in a spare room while saving for a place of their own.
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Couple want to ask permission to have another baby
He shared on Reddit that Justin works for his dad as part of a family business and is very close to his family in general.
While they stay with his family, Justin and Grace pay their share of rent and pitch in for groceries.
When their daughter was born, they had enough money to “financially support” her and keep their heads above water.
And while Justin and Grace both earn a wage, they don’t have enough to “provide a house for ourselves since property prices in the area are beyond ridiculous,” he said. “It’s a known epidemic.”
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That didn’t stop Grace from considering the next steps in expanding the family.
Their daughter was 15 months old when Grace began “gently pressuring” Justin to consider having another baby.
“I do want one soon so they’re similar age,” he said. “But I don’t want to feel like I’m taking my parents’ kindness for granted.”
His parents, who adore their granddaughter, explained they had no issue with the family staying with them, but Justin thinks that introducing another baby into the equation would cause issues.
So he floated the idea of moving out to his parents, and while he didn’t mention the idea of a second child, they shot him down.
“My dad said he doesn’t see the need to and he thinks it’s fine how it is,” Justin wrote. But this hasn’t stopped the feelings of guilt.
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“Don’t go ahead with another baby without discussing it with your parents”
Advice and suggestions flooded the comments of Reddit, with mixed feelings coming from every side.
“Talk to them,” the first person wrote. “They may have been understanding for a ‘happy accident’, but if you’re actually planning on something and planning on being in their house, they need to know and be able to weigh in.”
“Definitely don’t go ahead without discussing it with your parents,” added another. “They’re doing a lot for you right now.”
Others said Justin and Grace don’t have to seek permission to have a second baby, but waiting until they’re secure isn’t a bad idea.
“Adding a second is significantly more work,” a person wrote. “I understand the desire to have them close together. I will tell you from experience having a gap is rather nice. Something to consider.”
This was advocated by others, who advised the couple to hold off trying for a second.
“If you are living with your parents purely because of financial difficulties … I strongly recommend holding off on another child right now,” a comment read. “Meet your current commitments to the people in your life fully before adding more.”
*Names have been changed
Originally published as ‘We live with my parents – My wife wants another baby but I feel like a mooch’
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