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Sean Monahan is so good, it’s fair to say that one of the keys to Montreal’s season is his health.
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And here we are, folks, with yet another annual edition of Dr. Prognosticator’s Prognostic Parade as we peer into our crystal ball to forecast the coming NHL season, including this shocker:
The Maple Leafs will not win the Stanley Cup.
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These days, everyone is making predictions — but we skipped the Athletic’s Eight Bold Maple Leafs Predictions for 2023-24 From Auston Matthews’ Dominance to Trades. We presume it begins: “Auston Matthews will choke in the playoffs.”
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Now the serious bit.
Connor McDavid (duh) will win the Hart Trophy. And the Richard Trophy. And possibly the Vézina and the Jack Adams.
The Maple Leafs will rack up so many points, Gary Bettman will just give up and hand them the Stanley Cup. Then ask for it back after they’re eliminated (surprise, surprise!) in the first round.
Cale Makar will win the Norris.
Logan Cooley will give Connor Bedard a surprisingly tough fight for the Calder Trophy, while Hab fans scream, “They shoulda drafted the little guy! And the other little guy!”
Juraj Slafkovsky will tune out the noise and build, game after game and season after season, until he’s a dominating force in the NHL.
And finally, Andrei Vasilevskiy will return from injury, rested and focused, and lead the Tampa Bay Lightning back to the Stanley Cup finals, where they will lose to …
The Colorado Avalanche.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch: The Canadiens ended the exhibition season in style, storming back with three late goals to down the Senators B team 6-4.
With the win, the Habs wrapped up a relatively brief preseason at 3-3, which means they won three more games than last year, when the preseason mark stood at a gut-punch 0-6-2.
Road to the Cup
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These are the players who caught our eye, one way or another:
Sean Monahan: Monahan is so good, it’s fair to say that one of the keys to the Canadiens’ season is his health. If you have a direct connection to Itzamna, the Mayan god of medicine, send up a prayer to keep this guy on the ice.
Mattias Norlinder: Norlinder was sent down to Laval on Monday, but if it were up to us, the 23-year-old Swede would be in Montreal’s starting lineup and would get significant time with the man advantage.
Norlinder’s nifty work prior to his power-play goal against Ottawa surely caught the eye of Martin St. Louis. What impressed us more, however, was Norlinder’s gift for the crisp, tape-to-tape pass. We haven’t seen passes that sharp since No. 79 was patrolling the blue line.
Samuel Montembeault: Face it, Montembeault did not have a great preseason. He needs to be sharper. Given his performance last season and at the IIHF World Championships, you have to think he will be. If not — uh-oh.
Juraj Slafkovsky: Yes, he was a little slow getting untracked during his first period back after a nine-month layoff, but Slafkovsky improved visibly from shift to shift. He’s a different player now — more confident, more aggressive, more willing to engage with that big body. His goal from the edge of the crease against Ottawa Saturday was exactly what the Canadiens need from their No. 1 pick.
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Nick Caufield and Cole Suzuki: The top offensive duo are so joined at the hip, they’re like one entity, on and off the ice. As they go, so goes the CH.
Kirby Dach: Might have the highest ceiling of anyone currently wearing the CH. You notice Dach every shift when he’s out there. Paired with Slafkovsky, they create a huge line with real skill.
Alex Newhook: In the first period against Ottawa, Newhook turned on the jets and simply blew past everyone down the right wing. It was like watching a bigger Paul Byron in full flight.
Carrying on that TO tradition: By Toronto standards, the only thing quicker than the Blue Jays’ exit from the postseason was Kyle Dubas last spring, speed-dialing Leafs brass to demand a contract extension after winning a single playoff series.
We predicted the Jays would be gone in less time than it takes Bo Bichette to fix his hair. It was almost true. But the problem wasn’t Bichette, who showed up. It wasn’t Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who didn’t, although he is (with apologies to Michael Farber) the self of his father’s shadow in every way. Nor even John Schneider, the bumbling manager who would find a way to lose with the 1927 Yankees.
No, the problem in Toronto is where it always is — at corporate HQ. As long as the men in suits who run the Leafs allow the likes of Cleveland Clowns Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins to run a manager like Alex Anthopoulos out of town, it won’t change.
Heroes: Sean Monahan, Mattias Norlinder, Kirby Dach, Juraj Slafkovsky, Simone Biles, Iga Swiatek, Megan Rapinoe, Kelvin Kiptum, Brock Purdy &&&& last but not least, the great Dick Butkus.
Zeros: The Blue Jays, Mark Shapiro, Ross Atkins, Joel Armia, Jerry Jones, Pat McAfee, “Coach Prime,” Mike Babcock, Claude Brochu, David Samson &&&& last but not least, Jeffrey Loria.
Now and forever.
jacktodd46@yahoo.com
twitter.com/jacktodd46
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