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HEY BESTIE: My new boyfriend is very in touch with his emotions. In fact, he cries all the time — when we’re watching TV, when he’s listening to music he loves, when he sees a young baby. Is this normal? It weirds me out and I don’t know how to respond.
It’s wonderful that your boyfriend feels deeply and is in touch with his emotions, as it indicates a level of emotional intelligence and sensitivity.
Emotional Intelligence and sensitivity are two qualities that are so valuable in a relationship, among a whole host of other qualities such as trust, humour, understanding, patience, commitment, respect and love to name a few, in no particular order.
Crying in response to various stimuli like TV shows, music, or heart-warming moments such as seeing a baby isn’t inherently abnormal.
Emotions manifest differently in individuals, and some people are more expressive in showcasing their feelings than others.
However, feeling uncomfortable or unsure about his frequent displays of emotion is also valid and something worth discussing with your partner. It’s essential to navigate this situation with empathy and open communication.
The last thing you want is for your partner to feel defensive when you begin this conversation.
Consider having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings.
Approach the topic gently and express your support for his emotional depth while also sharing your perspective. You might say something like, “I admire how in touch you are with your emotions, but I feel a bit uncertain when you cry so often. Can we talk about it?”
Most of the time, we are unfamiliar with the histories and stories that our partners carry.
Your partners’ past might be an important reason as to why they respond the way in which they do, so be open to the fact that this may be different to your own.
This dialogue can help both of you understand each other better.
He might share why he feels compelled to cry frequently, providing insights into his emotional landscape.
Being vulnerable with one another is a great way to develop a deeper connection and emotional bond with each other.
On the other hand, you could share how his constant tears affect you and explore ways to find a middle ground that respects both of your comfort levels.
Remember, everyone has their unique emotional responses, and it’s crucial to embrace these differences while finding a balance that works for both partners in a relationship.
Because after all, acknowledging and discussing your feelings openly can foster a deeper understanding and strengthen your bond as a couple moving forward together.
Your bestie,
Amanda x
Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with almost two decades of experience who takes pride in her “no b-s” approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business which have sold more than 150,000 copies.
Do you have a question for Amanda? Email heybestie@wanews.com.au (don’t worry, we won’t publish your name!)
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