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No one knows where, no one knows when and no one knows what, but one day soon, you and I and King Charles will wake to discover that the Great Relaunch of Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex is upon us.
Call it the second coming of brand Sussex or the Megnaissance or a brilliant bit of eleventh hour image overhauling, but the royal family’s most hubbub-causing addition since they imported Caroline of Brunswick is on the cusp of Something Big.
Is it a website, a blog, a social media platform, an e-commerce offering, an Oprah-esque destination for cod psychology and self-helpery?
No one knows, but as the clock ticks down to le grand moment when Meghan’s reportedly entrepreneurial offering is finally revealed with all the bells, whistles and overwrought, capitalised noun-strewn press releases you might expect, could this be setting the stage for a fresh showdown with Buckingham Palace?
Let me explain.
It has been a very strange year for the Duchess of Caramel Coats. Firstly, she largely disappeared, receding from view as husband Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex blazed his way to the top of the bestseller lists – and to the bottom of Queen Camilla’s Christmas list – with Spare.
However, even when that particular blitzkrieg of unprocessed oedipal feelings had blown out, she largely remained tucked away, emerging only to be regularly papped.
The pivot point came in April when she, and she alone, signed up with Hollywood uber agent Ari Emanuel to help revamp her career. After all, her podcasting foray had not really gotten much purchase with Archetypes only lasting one season, her children’s show had been axed by Netflix in a massive round of cost cutting and her star had gone on the blink.
As the year has progressed, so too has speculation grown that part of what Meghan has been working on is some sort of return to the digital world, having famously, pre-royal life, carved out her very own patch – The Tig – in the vanilla lady blogging world.
This month, those reports of some sort of Tig-esque return have gathered steam.
And this week, in a larger piece about the duchess’ incipient comeback, an insider revealed to Page Six: “Meghan and the team are working hard. I think it will be surprising, it won’t be what everybody is expecting it to be, it will feel familiar to who Meghan is”.
Meanwhile, someone who knows the Duke and Duchess of Sussex told Page Six earlier this month that Meghan wants to be “a bit of Reese [Witherspoon], a bit of Gwyneth [Paltrow, founder of Goop].”
Which is to say, a very successful businesswoman. Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine sold for $1.4 billion and Paltrow’s empire Goop has been valued at close to the $400 million mark.
Where things could run aground is when we start to consider what a member of the royal family doing business could look like – and how the Palace might react.
At the crux of things is the question, what might the Palace do if the mother-of-two starts using those four darling words – the Duchess of Sussex – to try to energetically shift products like snail secretion face serums, cashmere dog throws and gluten-free okonomiyaki mix Paltrow-style?
The obvious rejoinder here, the “hey but what about …” is another longtime duchess non grata, Sarah Ferguson.
In the two and a half decades of having to pick up her own bills, aside from when convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was lending a hand, Fergie has banged out two autobiographies, five diet and wellness books, earnt millions as the face of Weight Watchers, repped Wedgewood, made a reality two-parter called The Duchess on The Estate, was an occasional special correspondent for NBC’s Today program, did ads for financial services company Charles Schwab, and my perennial personal favourite, turned up on the US Home Shopping Network to sell a juicer.
In all of this, her royal title was time and again hauled out to sell, sell, sell; the words “the Duchess of York” thoroughly taking on the pong of the ruthlessly commercial.
Throughout this, the Palace’s strategy has been to continually distance themselves from her commercial derring-do, arguing that given she was no longer married to Prince Andrew, Duke of Yuck, she was therefore technically no longer part of the royal family.
As a Palace spokesperson told the Guardian back in 2001 when asked to comment on the 40-something duchess’ US money-making gambits (sound familiar?) “she is a separate, independent, ordinary person”.
But that tactic won’t work here. Meghan is the King’s daughter-in-law and still very much a member of the family, no matter that Camilla keeps deleting her number.
Likewise, overpriced china plates, diet shakes and a juicer, while a bit sketchy, are not that controversial. An entire e-commerce outfit, if that is what Meghan.com turns out to be, is a different kettle of fish entirely.
Likewise, Fergie’s dash for Stateside cash took place under the far too lenient, in my opinion, aegis of Her late Majesty. (If the Duchess of Debacle was caught on camera now trying to sell access to a senior working member of the royal family, I would hope that King Charles would have her reduced to being plain old Ms Ferguson in less time than it would take a for a footman to fetch fresh tonic).
If Meghan’s new website or business or social media platform for Californian yoga-loving mamas who have nothing better to do than to worry about non-organic playground paint (or whatever) does not include her Sussex title, then this is all a moot point. And there is a possibility this might be, given her one and done podcast was called Archetypes with Meghan.
However, if as with her children’s book, the couple’s Netflix series, the various awards that the duchess has picked up and her shared inclusion with Aitch on Time’s 100 Most Influential People list we do see her title wheeled out for this big “surprising”, unexpected outing, then things could get dicey.
The King, while generally at a loss as to how to contain the Sussexes, has still attempted to use every tool in his handmade, coroneted lambskin regal toolkit to distance the Palace from the couple. Goodbye Frogmore Cottage, their UK home, which now sits empty after His Majesty evicted them post Spare. And goodbye to their HRHs on the royal website, with the duo’s entries now ignominiously having been dumped at the bottom of the family page, right down with the octogenarian third cousins.
Nor have the Duke and Duchess of Sussex reportedly been invited to pop over for a quick cuppa when they are in Europe next month for the Invictus Games, even though they will only be a short hop, skip and a jump via private jet away.
So, given this climate of cold shoulders and the most disapproving of posho pursed lips, how would Charles react to seeing a gifted title and someone using their membership of the royal family to make oodles of lovely money?
This was, after all, the very reason that back in early 2020, the late Queen put her tiny foot down and denied the couple the continued use of their Sussex Royal branding.
Quite how far could or will the Duchess of Sussex push things with London in her quest to carve out a solid, dependable US career? Will she take this next step as the independent woman she has long banged on about being, or might she use what many would argue is her most profitable asset – her royal family membership – to ensure her new business brings in stacks of cash?
Things could also run aground if this mystery site or platform or whatever strays too far into the self-helpy. If we are about to see Meghan dishing out advice on dealing with frosty in-laws and regularly dredging up the various sins and biases of The Firm, then again, sitting on One’s curiously sausagey hands is not an option for the King.
But in all of this, all these questions and what-ifs and wondering how much is too much to charge for an artisanal oil diffuser made out of carrera marble, I am excited.
Excited to see just what Meghan has had bubbling away on the stove for all these months and where she wants to take her post-duchessing career.
And if all else fails? Fergie, who Meghan recounted having lunch with in their Netflix series, is only ever a phone call away with her home shopping contacts.
Kale smoothie anyone?
Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.
Originally published as Meghan Markle’s new career move could spark ‘fresh showdown’ with Buckingham Palace
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