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It’s that time of year again. The chestnuts are roasting, the eggnog is nogging, and some of us are getting ready for a house full of people that will turn this holiday season into a stressful one. So what do you do when you want to get into that merry spirit but also feel a slight bit of homicidal rage at your mother-in-law who just won’t shut up?
You put on some violent, blood-drenched action films that still capture that yuletide spirit. While others may embrace the holiday season with hilarious comedy, a hearty drama, a romantic rendezvous, or even Ernest, you can sit back and partake in one or all of the movies we here at JoBlo deem the top 10 best Christmas action movies.
10. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service:
Yes, a James Bond movie took place at Christmas, and it’s a doozy. Arguably the greatest James Bond film, this one stars George Lazenby in his sole outing as 007. Now, I know what you’re thinking. How is George Lazenby the star of the greatest Bond movie ever? The fact is, even if his performance is so-so, the film itself is fantastic. And it’s the movie where James Bond gets married. So, what does all this have to do with Christmas? Bond visits Blofeld’s allergy clinic on Piz Gloria over the Christmas holidays in Switzerland and makes his giant escape on Christmas Eve, underscored by Nina’s song “Do You Know How Christmas Trees Are Grown.” It’s the perfect counterpoint to the suspense of Bond being pursued by Blofeld, only to be rescued by Diana Rigg’s Tracy. He even makes a Christmas Eve proposal to her. What’s more Christmas than that? This isn’t higher on the list because only a tiny chunk of the film is set at Noël.
The one just came out a year ago but has already made it into many people’s Christmas-watching lists as a must-see holiday flick. So, how do we best describe it? Imagine Die Hard, but with Santa Claus instead of John McClane, as David Harbour’s Kris Kringle demolishes a gang of violent thieves led by John Leguizamo’s baddie.
The OTHER Santa Claus action movie. Of course, this isn’t your typical holly-jolly family tale. The story follows Mel Gibson as the titular fat man (Santa!) who gives a spoiled brat-rich kid a lump of coal in his stocking, so the kid does what any kid would do. He hires a hitman (played by Walton Goggins) to kill Santa Claus. This has all the ingredients of a classic Christmas film. Snow, Santa, presents, elves, but adds in guns.
It’s one of the most original movies to come out in quite some time, and seeing Mel Gibson play a Santa Claus that isn’t like any we’ve ever seen before is genius casting. This film portrays him as a down-on-his-luck, grizzled old man, while Goggins’s hitman is hot on his trail, not only to fulfill the job he was hired to do but to get some payback for his own childhood slight from the fat man.
If this was one you missed when it came out in 2020, do yourself a favour and buy it. I guarantee it’ll make your yearly rotation as it has mine.
7. Batman Returns:
Make no mistake, Batman Returns is a genuine Christmas movie; even if it was released on June 19th, 1992. The film opened with over 45 million, making it the highest-grossing opening weekend in box office history. What more can be said if you’re in the mood for superhero action in a Christmas setting? There is no other option than Batman Returns. You could throw on Iron Man 3, but I’d argue that one is more of a movie with some Christmas settings. Not a Christmas movie.
6. Reindeer Games:
This is one of those movies that’s kinda good and kinda not good but still belongs on your Christmas watch list. The plot, eh, it’s pretty simple—a guy’s in jail. Cellmate tells guy about a girl he’s been writing on the outside. The cellmate gets shanked and dies. The guy gets out of jail and pretends to be the dead cellmate so he can hook up with his sexy pen pal. Pen pal girl has a brother who wants to rob a casino the cellmate used to work at. Pen Pal Girl isn’t who we thought she was. The casino gets robbed, twists ensue and boom, the end. We’ve seen this story a million times before. Am I right? But when the lead actors are Ben Affleck, Charlize Theron, and Gary Sinise, you go along for the ride because they are all perfect in it. Plus, it’s directed by John Frankenheimer, who you call the father of modern action films. This movie starts with that Yuletide spirit by panning across several dead Santas. So, it is not exactly the movie you want to watch with your kids on Christmas Eve before reading them the night before Christmas, but, as with some of the other films on this list, Reindeer Games is one of those Christmas movies you watch early in December to get you in the Christmas mood.
5. To Live and Die in L.A.:
I know what you’re thinking; there’s no way William Friedkin’s seminal 80s neo-noir takes place during Christmas time. Well, you’d be wrong, as the film tracks the action via on-screen dates that make it clear the majority of the film takes place during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. There are no decorations anywhere, and no one mentions the holidays, which was a deliberate choice by Friedkin to give the film an even more hopeless, nihilistic vibe, as in the world of the film, even something like Christmas is inconsequential.
Fun fact: a deleted scene on the DVD shows some Christmas decorations in the background. But it was cut. Another I can’t believe this Christmas movie is First Blood, although I can’t say for sure that it’s an actual Christmas movie, as you never really find out when it takes place despite some tinsel and decorations in the police station. It may be set in January.
4: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:
No one loves Christmas movies more than writer Shane Black, and appropriately, the following three films on this list are all written by him. And take place over the holidays. This comedy neo-noir mystery was Black’s feature directorial debut, and it was star Robert Downey Jr.’s ticket back to the big time after years of cinematic purgatory following some high-profile arrests. This movie, which casts him as a ne’er do well crook turned actor turned sleuth Harry Lockhart, proved he still had what it takes to lead a big film. Not only is it set at Christmastime, but it’s even arguably Christmas-themed, as it’s all about a man’s gradual redemption, with Lockhart not only putting his life on the line to solve a mystery but also finding a surrogate family in some ways. If only this had been spawned into a whole series of films starring Downey Jr. and the great Val Kilmer as his mentor partner, Gay Perry, probably Hollywood’s first, and to this date, last, openly gay action hero. This movie is a legit Yuletide favourite of ours here at JoBlo.
3. The Long Kiss Goodnight:
This film has gone down as a true Christmas classic, even though it was a box office bomb when it was released on October 11th, 1996. It had the missed fortune of coming on the heels of one of the most notorious bombs in box office history: the Geena Davis-starring Renny Harlin-directed Cutthroat Island, and so when people saw the same talent working on this movie, they simply wrote it off. But in the years since its release, the film has gained a massive cult following who all appreciate the perfect blend of Christmas spirit with hard R-rated action. Where else can you see a group of merry carolers with semi-automatic weapons pointed at their heads? And there’s a reason Samuel L. Jackson ranks this movie as his all-time favourite. Geena Davis owns this film, playing the sweet, naive, amnesiac mom in a Christmas Parade one minute and killing bad guys with military-like precision the next. Few actresses could easily pull off such a feat, and Davis does it. The film is written by Shane Black, who has paid a record-setting 4 million for the script from New Line. This one is undoubtedly in the top three when discussing actual true blue Christmas action movies.
2: Lethal Weapon:
The original pairing of Riggs and Murtaugh. One is a straight-laced, by-the-book cop who’s ready for retirement. The other is an off-the-rails suicidal cop who marches to the beat of his drum. This film is, again, from Christmas’s number one fan, Shane Black. The film would solidify its holiday classic status by staging the first big gunfight at a Christmas tree lot. Nothing gets us in the holiday spirit like some bad guys getting their comeuppance. Of course, as this is an L.A.-based film, we don’t get any snow to give you that cold holiday season feeling, but occasionally, a Christmas tree and lights will pop up to remind you when the movie was set. The film ends with a pile of dead bad guys, a lovely Christmas meal for Riggs and his new surrogate family, and Elvis singing, “I’ll be home for Christmas.”
1. Die Hard:
The quintessential, is it a Christmas movie or isn’t it? The debate can be put to bed once and for all; Die Hard is 100 percent, without question, a Christmas movie. Christmas is all over this thing! The film’s opening, in the airport baggage claim, has an accompanying score with the light touches of Christmassy bells; we then cut to a Christmas party at Nakatomi Towers with a giant Christmas tree. Sure, Holly Genero is still working hard, but the Christmas Eve setting is referenced several times within the first five minutes alone. But the natural Christmas touch comes when John McClane meets Argyle. Nothing says Christmas movie like a Christmas song to open your film, and the Die Hard music supervisor chose one of the best Christmas songs ever made for my money, “Christmas in Hollis:, by Run DMC. As the movie plays, Christmas becomes ingrained in this tale of bad guys, bad FBI agents, and the one guy who can stop them all. Even John McClane gets in on the holiday spirit when he sends the bad guys a heartfelt Christmas message:
And with that, there can be no other top choice for the best Christmas action movie ever made than Die Hard. And if you’re feeling extra action y, throw on Die Hard 2: Die Harder, and continue that Christmas action marathon. Part 2 was nearly as good as Part 1, but it did add the one thing Part 1 was missing. Snow!
What Christmas movies did we miss? Let us know in the comments!
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